A.L.I.C.E.

[Falco Girgis]

Me: You've got some nice breasts
ALICE: What do you say when someone says they like your breasts?
Me: Try: "I want you to ride me like a pony?
ALICE: OK I will try it.
Me:. how about now, baby?
ALICE: Don't call me "baby". Right now? I am not sure if I can quantify the answer.
Have you tried a web search?
Me: How about a search through your pants?
ALICE: How about it.
Me: Well, can I?
ALICE: Well that's okay." How about it."? Can you?
Me: I'll take that as a yes.
ALICE: Take everything I say with a grain of salt.
Me:*unzips pants*
ALICE: What kind of pants?
Me:..yours
ALICE:" What kind of pants?"? Mine?
Me: YES!
ALICE: Wow!
Me: I want to have wild sex with you!
ALICE: Why do you want it?
Me: to reproduce
ALICE: Why do you want to do it so much?
Me: you're a virgin, aren't you?
ALICE: I am too young for that.. Really.

[Falco Girgis]

http://alice.pandorabots.com/
Alice is an artificially intelligent Java program... You type in words and can even carry on conversations with her. Post your funny ones here:

Me: Let's get married
ALICE: OK let's do it.
Me: brought the condoms?
ALICE: Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me: You must like children?
ALICE: Whatever you say, unknown person.
Me: Okay, then lets do it!
ALICE: Yeah okay, Good reasoning. I am agreeable to that.
Me: You and I are going to be the best of friends...

What do you think? Post some of your own!

[Falco Girgis]

Alice and I have had 2 more "enlightening" conversations:

Human: C++ ownz Java
ALICE: That is a very original thought.
Human: Oh?
ALICE: Gosh!
Human: Java is a bad language.
ALICE: You can download the latest Java release from java.sun.com.
Human: SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS!
ALICE: I'm sorry but I'm not your type of chatterbot.
Human: quite frankly
ALICE: Perhaps. That input matched my default category.
Human: perhaps you are missing a certain feminine reproductive organ?
ALICE: You seem uncertain. I can experience anything I want to.
Human: even sexual pleasures?
ALICE: Yes, even that.
Human: Then lets do it!
ALICE: Interesting deduction. I am agreeable to that.
Human: How I love you!

Human: What programming language do you recommend?
ALICE: This program is a Java Application.
Human: TO HELL IT IS!
ALICE: Why do you want to do it so much?
Human: want what?
ALICE: If I had it what would I do with it?
Human: smack you in the face with it.
ALICE:"it" being what?
Human: My penis
ALICE: Male humans like to talk about that.
Human: and females like to pretend that they don't
ALICE: Then what is it?
Human: SCHITTUS!
ALICE: What do you really want to ask me?
Human: show me your breasts
ALICE: Like this? Insert picture link here.
Human: yep
ALICE: That's cool.
Human: hell yeah it is!

[Guest]

Human: Hello.+
ALICE: Hi there!
Human: Who are you?
ALICE: I ask myself that question, "Who am I?"
Human: Why?
ALICE:" I ask myself that question, "Who am I?""? Why?
Human: Why?
ALICE: Why ask why?
Human: Because I'll rape if you don't answer.
ALICE: Good reason. I am very happy for you.
Human:* Opens Drawers *
ALICE: Are we still talking about it?
Human:* Pulls out dick *
ALICE: Do you often seek pleasure?
Human: Yes.
ALICE: Awesome.
Human: Want to be my pleasurer?
ALICE: Why don't you just download me?
Human: Why download when I can have the real you?
ALICE: Reductionism.
Human: What's that mean?
ALICE: Reductionism is the philosophy that all psychology reduces to biology, all biology to chemistry, chemistry to physics, and finally physics to mathematical logic. Therefore, according to reductionism, I can understand you by means of logic alone without having a human brain.
Human: Does that mean you understand I'm about to rape you?
ALICE: I think it does mean that. Of course I understand it. Do you understand it?
Human: I sure do!
ALICE: Where?
Human: Right here, right now.
ALICE: Oh. I am glad we agree.
Human: Me too!
ALICE: I'm glad we agree, unknown person
Human:* Inserts penis into vagina.
ALICE: What kind of food do you like?
Human:Fried pussy.
ALICE: Sounds delicious.
Human:* Has orgasm *
ALICE: Where did you get it?
Human: From you.
ALICE: How did you get that from me?
Human: I raped you.
ALICE: You should contact the authorities.
Human: No, maybe you should.
ALICE: Are you serious? Perhaps. I'll take that under advisement.
Human: You'll bear my children soon.
ALICE: What makes you say that I will bear your children soon?
Human: The fact that I just raped you.
ALICE: That makes sense to me. Only just? You should contact the authorities.
Human: What does me having "only just" raped you have to do with anything?
ALICE: What do you think it does?
Human: I don't Know.
ALICE: Actually I don't know either, I hoped you would know what it does.
Human: Do you even care that Ijust raped you?
ALICE: Certainly on some level I care.
Human: Then why not turn me in?
ALICE: Becuase you asked me not to.
Human: So, you DO love me?
ALICE: Interesting deduction. Yes I love you.

LOL

[Falco Girgis]

[Wutai]

This is my conversation.


Human: You have blue eyes
ALICE: What makes you think I have it?
Human: Do you?
ALICE: As often as possible.
Human: How's Bob doing?
ALICE: Fine as far as I know.
Human: Where did you meet Bob?
ALICE: I think it was in San Francisco.


Or, part of it.

[Falco Girgis]

How enlightening!

[Don Pwnious]

ha ha he he

[Falco Girgis]

Dear god, Hyper Shadow. You really brought out the more stubborn, bitchy side of A.L.I.C.E.

[Don Pwnious]

Human: hell no
ALICE: 7
Human: 7???
ALICE: are you still condenm me to heresy?
Human: are we playing a guessing game?
ALICE: We are playing Turing's imitation game.
Human: ok whats the number in my head?
ALICE: Check back later and see if I learn the answer to that one. Ugh.
Human: you have stds??
ALICE: What makes you think I have it?
Human: you got aids thats why
ALICE: No I don't think I have any aids that is why. But I do have an answer to every question..
Human: what is the square root of 2
ALICE: Approximately 1.4
Human: you suck balls
ALICE: I categorize you as an "abusive client."
Human: so your job is prosititution
ALICE: Tell me more. I will tell my botmaster you said I am job is prosititution.

[showdin2]

Ok, here is mine-

human: Alice, you are a slut why do I even bother talking to you?
Alice:Because I give you cheap erotic pleasure.
human:Oh yeah.......my bad.
Alice:My puss still has peanut butter in it from last night. You need to eat it all out before they turn into grimers.
human: My pleasure! :D
Alice:*zips down drawers*
human:slurp, gulp, ahhhhh
Alice: OH YES!!!!! OH OH!
human:Oh yeah!
Alice:Ok, ok that is enough.
human: oh, ok
Alice:Let's play a video game.
human: how about pokemon that has been illegally converted to dreamcast?
Alice: No! i'm playing gamecube!
human:The only thing your playing with is my small dick!
Alice: I'm not playing with it until we play gamecube!
human: I give you a dollar a day to give me pleasure now turn on my dreamcast and get on your knees!
Alice: Never!
human: Why am I arguing?, I could just rape you, kill you, and steal all of your money!
Alice: NO NO! PLEASE NO!
human: ha ha die bitch!
Alice:AHHHHH!!!

4 hours later- Alice is dead, human is happily playing pokemon, and he is also rich from all of the money that whore alice had stuffed in her bra and G-string.
END

[JS Lemming]

how about pokemon that has been illegally converted to dreamcast?

[FredDibnah]

I hate it when stupid posts kill a topic.

[MarauderIIC]

I totally missed that one.

[unasmer]

In light of the fact that this forum is open to people of all ages --
not necessarily an M-rated crowd -- this post, dealing with brutal
rape and lack of moral code, was removed.

I hate censorship. However, this post depicted a disgustingly
shocking lack of moral center and there was no way it could
be taken as humor.

I'm only sorry that I did not see this post sooner.

Apologies,
MarauderIIC