Elysian Shadows

we were driving in my pickup, and i was kinda going slow.
so my dad was like do you treat your woman like you do your car!
and i was like wtf. so he said.

"drive it like you stole it, and bone it like you own it."

i nearly crashed. was the funniest thing ever.

ROFL! Man, I can't wait to use that on somebody that doesn't visit these forums!

Your dad sounds awesome, every time my dad makes a joke like that it just sounds creepy...

unholysavagery wrote:Your dad sounds awesome, every time my dad makes a joke like that it just sounds creepy...

My Dad is creepy. Old, and creepy. Sort of like me, but I'm young and creepy.

Edit: A nice example of me and my Dad being creepy. Monday we were looking at a college together with my friend. The entire ride up we were talking about breasts and stuff like that. Lots of father son stuff. At the college, just talking about the hot girls there. At home, we picked out a horror movie to watch because of the high chance of nudity. Not really funny creepy, just, creepy.

the reminds me of this one time in college. it was the first party i went to. so my dad was like what do you kids do at these parties. and i was like idk. i mean what was i suppose to say. so my dad said. "like sex, drugs, and alcohol?" and i was like "no dad are you nuts". so he replied. "Oh, so its a boring party."

Damn, I remember the funniest joke my dad ever told me:

It was Christmas Eve and he and I were building a swing set for my nephew in the middle of the night.

He's holding up the beam while I'm very unsuccessfully trying to find the hole where the screw should go.

My dad, very calmy, leaned over and said, "It'd be alot easier to find if there was hair around it."

I seriously fell on the ground laughing.

trufun202 wrote:Damn, I remember the funniest joke my dad ever told me:

It was Christmas Eve and he and I were building a swing set for my nephew in the middle of the night.

He's holding up the beam while I'm very unsuccessfully trying to find the hole where the screw should go.

My dad, very calmy, leaned over and said, "It'd be alot easier to find if there was hair around it."

I seriously fell on the ground laughing.

that is pretty funny, but gross to. haha. id miss it on purpose if it had hair.

ROFL, trufun! That's HILARIOUS!

avansc wrote:

trufun202 wrote:Damn, I remember the funniest joke my dad ever told me:

It was Christmas Eve and he and I were building a swing set for my nephew in the middle of the night.

He's holding up the beam while I'm very unsuccessfully trying to find the hole where the screw should go.

My dad, very calmy, leaned over and said, "It'd be alot easier to find if there was hair around it."

I seriously fell on the ground laughing.

that is pretty funny, but gross to. haha. id miss it on purpose if it had hair.

avansc prefers his ladies shaven, I presume.

damn straight, this is the friggen 21st century, if i liked hairy woman id move to frace.

avansc wrote:damn straight, this is the friggen 21st century, if i liked hairy woman id move to frace.

Yeah, I do prefer mine well groomed as well.

GyroVorbis wrote:

avansc wrote:damn straight, this is the friggen 21st century, if i liked hairy woman id move to frace.

Yeah, I do prefer mine well groomed as well.

Yes, groomed is a nice way to put it. :P I'll pass on the wall-to-wall carpeting.

trufun202 wrote:Damn, I remember the funniest joke my dad ever told me:

It was Christmas Eve and he and I were building a swing set for my nephew in the middle of the night.

He's holding up the beam while I'm very unsuccessfully trying to find the hole where the screw should go.

My dad, very calmy, leaned over and said, "It'd be alot easier to find if there was hair around it."

I seriously fell on the ground laughing.

I love these forums!

Rofl.

trufun202 wrote:

GyroVorbis wrote:

avansc wrote:damn straight, this is the friggen 21st century, if i liked hairy woman id move to frace.

Yeah, I do prefer mine well groomed as well.

Yes, groomed is a nice way to put it. :P I'll pass on the wall-to-wall carpeting.

i'll pass if there is to much stubble. im very chauvinistic. hahaha.

ROFL! Very entertaining!